What on earth am I here for?

It's not about you.
The purpose of our life is far greater than our own personal fullfillment, our peace of mind, or even our happiness. It's far greater than our family, our career, or even our wildest dreams and ambitions. If we want to know why we were placed on this planet, we must begin with God. We were born by his purpose and for his purpose...

"a purpose driven life" - rick warren

videokeman mp3
Fallin’ For You – Colbie Caillat Music Code
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Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Confidently beautiful with a heart...

"Remember only God can judge us. Forget the haters, 'cause somebody loves ya. Memories made 'til the nights through. Surrounded by the ones who love you. We all so turned up here, getting turned up... yeah!" Yes it's true, we cannot please everybody, and don't dare try to because it's not worth it. We sometimes lost confidence in ourselves. Sure we have flaws.. but it doesn't mean that we cannot do the things we want. Most of the time we are afraid of trying things out, why? because of those judgmental people around? Forget them! Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you. Know your worth, even if they don't.

Posted at 01:08 am by jens

Thursday, April 17, 2014
Hooray for Today...

It's not everyday that you get to hug your love ones, It's not everyday that you get to see them, It's not everyday that you get along with each other, But it's everyday you feel how important they are to you and you to them...

Posted at 02:12 pm by jens

Friday, June 03, 2005
"Old Times (sigh)..."

K  Girls... strike a pose!!!

biokidz!!! he!he!

Here's to the old times
and the best of new ones
Here's to a song of glee
Finding the way from illusion to reality

Hoping to wake up from this madness
hoping to see you smile
Pushing the way to the limits of yours and mine

I'm growing up, getting down
keeping my both feet on the ground
with all my friends behind me
how can I go wrong this time?
I'm growing up, getting down
Thank God reality came around
Not just waiting for the daybreak,
expecting the sun to shine
It doesn't shine all the time

Falling in love and falling apart
You think it's the end of the line
Pour your heart out cryin'
then you'll feel just fine

If you're thinking that you're the only one
then take a look around and you'll find
I'll be there where you are
I've been out and now I'll say

mood :  magulo
antidote : apple jelly


Posted at 01:04 pm by jens

Thursday, June 02, 2005
Someday We Will Be... Because We Promised We Would

About four years ago, when life wasn't so hard, and friends and good times were all that really mattered..... a young girl about 14 years of age lived her life of simplicity. Her name was Leana. She was currently with someone totally different from her, and not to mention, a pure heart breaker and loser. But hey, life was good, she was young, and basically that didn't really matter. All that mattered was that she knew what it was like to feel for a guy at that time, and to live her life of endless happiness with her friends and family. One afternoon, she stood on the grassy hill after school, embracing her so called boyfriend Jerry. And at that moment, about 10 feet away, at the flag pole, stood a boy about two years older than Leana by the name of James. He watched her gently hug her boyfriend, and then slowly walk away, until he could no longer see her image. He never knew what it was like to feel for anybody, however, a strange feeling inside took over him. Something extremely unexplainable, and so confusing. And he thought to himself, "One day, I just gotta meet her." "Hey James!" a boy called out. "why do you look all dazed off en stuff?" "Ah nothin' Jay, lets jes go home now" James replied. When James had arrived to Jay's house, they sat down for some soda, and James had totally gotten his mind off of that strange feeling. "Damn, I forgot to go call my homegirl man, can you hand me the phone James?" jay asked as he took a sip of his soda. "Hello may I please speak to Leana? This is Jay" he asked. Jay and Leana began to conversate, until he remembered to do some chores.. so he handed the phone to James. "here man, can you go talk to her for awhile, I gotta do some stuff for my dad real quick?" "Aight cool" said James. "Hello! Yeah hi this is James! Who's this?" "oh this is Leana" she replied. After that one conversation, Leana and James began to keep in touch with phone calls everyday. Neither one of them knew what they looked like, or so they thought. For James was totally clueless that thatone girl he watched from the flag pole the other day, was the very girl he was laughing and talking with everyday. It had been weeks, and then months, and Leana and James grew close, and told one another everything imaginable. And with this bond, they became the best of friends. Still not knowing what they looked like in person, James decided to visit Jay again after school, which of course so happened to be the same school as Leana. James knew for a fact that Leana went to that school, but still didn't know what she looked like. Till that day after school. As James walked onto the campus, he stood by the same flagpole, and waited for Jay. He watched the crowd of people, chatting about, and doing their own thing, until he spotted that one girl he had seen that one afternoon. He was so caught up by the way she carried herself, and how different she seemed from the other girls. She was shy, mature, quiet, and simple. None of that make up stuff all over her face. As he admired her, something immediately caught his attention "Ey Leana, wassup!" a girl called out, walking towards the girl James was admiring. "Wassup" she said with a grin on her face. "Oh my gosh!" James said to himself. "Could that be Leana? The girl I've been talking to on the phone with?" He was so surprised. He walked up from behind Leana, and tapped her on her shoulder and quickly turned around, pretending he didn'tdo anything. Disturbed as Leana could be said "How rude!" and all James could do was laugh. He couldn't believe that that girl he was so eager to meet, was the very girl he had been talking to for quite awhile now..Leana. He called her that day, and told her that he saw her. Leana was so surprised. "Oh that was you huh, that one guy who tapped me on the shoulder huh?" she laughed. Inside, Leana and James felt something so weird, every time they talked and every time they were apart.They felt something inside when they thought of one another. But the feelings they felt, they let it pass, and denied it to themselves, as if it were simply nothing. They wondered about these feelings time to time, but never really tried to figure out what it meant, or what it was. Leana and James told one another about their lives, their fears, problems, and little infatuations over people every now and then, but never the kept feeling inside for one another. One rainy day, Leana called James up crying about losing Jerry. He comforted her so much, and she felt so much better when he did. James was always there for leana, and he never once let her down. That's one thing she loved about him so much. Not to mention, they were so much like one another, always making people laugh, and always making each other happy. Some say that these two were exactly the same, except different names, and the opposite sex of course. Summer came and James and Lena spent more time with one another, and finally got to see each other in person. They met each other at Jays' house one day, and Leana's heart dropped when she saw James for the first time. She watched him play on the computer, just as he watched her that one day after school. When it was time to go home, James gave Leana his school ID and she said her goodbye with a warm embrace to James. They both blushed, and that same unexplainable feeling took over the both of them. Leana knew then what that long time feeling she had been feeling all those times. She was no longerin denial...she liked him. The first person she told was her bestfriend Lae,who too knew James. She was shocked! Days later, James was talking to Jay, as he said, "Hey Jay, I think I like Leana." "Really!!! Wow, that's cool." From that day on forward, only five people knew, Jay, Lae, Leana, James, and god himself. And it was up to fate to lead the both of them to their destiny.It had been a whole year, and Leana and James still didn't want to admit their feelings to one another. They knew what was up, but never took the risk to admit. Until Leana hinted him out what she felt. "I'm suppose to tell you everything right James?" she asked him. "Duh! Why? You like someone huh?"he replied. "Uh yeah, sorta" she said. "Who," he asked. "Well, he has the same background as you, about your height, your age, and you know him very well. You see him everyday." She hinted out. James knew then what that meant. He felt the same, but was so afraid to show it, because he never had a girlfriend in his whole entire life. He knew it was him, and Leana was so relieved telling him Day by day they flirted every now and then and admitted their feelings in ways only they could understand On October 11, 1996, James and Leana both officially started seeing eachother. He was the most perfect guy you could ever meet in Leana's eyes to be exact He was tall, handsome, great sense of humor, caring, loving, just everything close to being perfect in Leana's eyes. And his eyes, his eyes were so warm, so sexy, so WOW! And she was everything she thought of him to James. Everyone said that they were the most cutest, and perfect couple. And they were both so happy with one another. Everyone even thought they'd get married someday. He did everything for, to, and because of her, and she surely did the same for him. Their forgiveness, love, passion, and care were endless for one another. These two were inseparable, and in love. He always told her "you're such a big baby you and those big brown eyes of yours, and those cute chubby cheeks GodI love you" and kissed her lovingly on her lips. "I love you too babe," she'd always reply. Two years passed, and James of course graduated and things began to change. They got into many fights, and Leana began to feel the hurt inside, she never ever felt before. James told her though, that throughout all this negativity, he still loved her. He took her hand one day, as she cried cold painful tears, and looked her in her eyes and said "No matter what, through it all, this is it.There's no one else but you. Iwill always love you, and I will always end up with you.. I promise," and wiped her tears away as he kissed her forehead gently. James, began to change, and emotionally hurt her daily. Her sweetest and most perfect man was slowly disappearing into someone she never knew. He began to stop doing things for her, he stopped making her happy, and he stopped saying sweet things. He stopped visiting her, and stopped calling, and always chose his friends over her. When they argued, he'd yell at her, hang the phone up on her, and leave her with so much pain and nothing to do but cry. It was soon passed half a year, and things gotten worse. When she tried telling him how she felt, he just let it pass. He started lying about many things, and became so unfaithful to her. He began to drink, which he promised he wouldn't, and hung out with his friends morning, noon, and night, and never had time for her. James did things that his old sweet self would never do before. He left her many times at home just crying, and didn't even bother to see if she was okay. Basically, Leana was in love with someone who seemed to not love her back anymore. They were together alright, but didn't seem like it to Leana. It hurt to much inside, but because Leana loved him so much, she never did let him go. She took the pain, and cried endless tears, and still loved him through it all, while he was out breaking promises, and being someone he knew he never was before. There never passed a day when leana didn't think about him, worry about the relationship, wonder why he was the way he was, or cried about the hurt. The pain he caused her scarred her heart deeper and deeper everyday. Her family was affected, her friends, and even school. Everybody was worried about her. No one ever saw her smile anymore, and if she did,it was only for a while. She hardly slept, and just everything in her life fell apart. All because that one most perfect human being who walked into her life, and who she loved so much, hurt her in ways that could never be fixed. James basically left her out of his time, out of his reach, out of his life. He acted as if she wasn't even his girlfriend. She did as much as she could for him, though he didn't see it, and sacrificed her whole life for him. She did anything to make things work, but he didn't do much at all. She triedso hard to figure out what the problem was, & why he hurt her so much. "how can God give you the most perfect gift of your whole life to love, and take it away as if it wasn't yours to keep" she asked everyday. James became meaner and meaner, and it hurt her more and more. One day he picked her up from school, and his was so different. She looked at him slowly. His built was bigger, his lips no smile, his voice so monotone, and his eyes. She looked at his eyes through the rear view mirror, and she began to cry. His eyes were so cold now, and that love, warmth, and sweetness she use to see no longer existed. James wasn't James anymore. They didn't speak a word that car ride home, and all she could think was "Why ? why was it like this now?" She came home and cried her heart out. And all that played in her head was the days he always dropped by just to see her, just to hold her. Now, he seemed as ifhe didn't even want to hold her anymore, touch her, or look at her. She blamed herself for all of this, didn't know why, but it just seemed like it was her fault She lay in bed that night reminiscing about the nights they laid together in bed, and he held her close to his body, and never did let go. How she use to wake up summer mornings, and he'd be smiling and watching her sleep till she got up. Why was everything so hard now, and why did it hurt so much? She remembered the sweet ring of his voice constantly telling her he loved her, while they kissed, or just stared into each others eyes. She remembered the days when he'd stroke her hair, and laid the most simplest, sweetest, kisses on her lips. She remembered the days when he'd run all the way to her house just to hug her tight, and she remembered the days when just everything between them was so perfect. She cried helpless tears, and all hope was just gone. She knew she was still so young, but regardless what age she was, it still hurt. She felt that endless pain that shuts your whole life and hope down. The point was, she felt it, and she didn't know how to make it go away. There were times where she'd think about leaving him, but she imagined how worse the pain would feel knowing she lived a life without him. Just as long as she knew she was his, and he was hers made the slightest bit of feeling okay. Her tears fell harder, and her mind began to shut down on her. Allshe could think was "God I love you James, I miss your old self so much." One afternoon, James picked her up from school again. They were both walking until Leana began to cry like usual. "Why are you crying again damn!" James yelled. "Nothing" she struggled to say. "You know what I hate about seeing you all the time, is that you always end up crying on me for no fucken reason! What the hell am I doing wrong now shit!" he yelled again. She tried to hug him tight, yet he resisted. "I love you James, I'm sorry," she cried. "yeah whatever," he coldly said. James was so frustrated, didn't know what he was thinking, didn't know what he was doing. A confusion of being with her or leaving her just rushed through his head, as they walked towards the car. Suddenly, in the midst of it all, a loud bang alerted them both. James didn't know what it was. He turned around to see if Leana heard it, "Ey did you. NOOOOOO!" he cried. Leana had been shot on her right side, as she lay bleeding, and gasping for breath on the street by James' car. He ran overto her as everyone crowded around. "Fuckin' call 911" he screamed, as tears began to roll down his eyes. "Babe are you okay?" he asked, holding her in his arms. Leana slowly reached to touch his right cheek, as she looked himin his eyes, and lightly smile. "Babe, I'm so sorry if I did anything wrong to make us the way we are now." She struggled to say. "Leana don't even say that, you're going to be okay God someone help!!!" he cried. "You hurtme a lot James, but I still continued to love you. Because no matter what, through it all, that's it, there's no one else no one else but you." she smiled, and coughed as she gasped for air. She began to cry, and still the pain she felt within her heart still struck her like always. Flashbacks of their times together rushed through her mind, and she could hardly keep her eyes open,as her helpless body lay strongly against James' chest. James crying harder than ever looked down into her eyes, hoping she wouldn't die. "Babe I'm so sorry for everything, God I love you! You cant leave, we're suppose to get married remember? Remember babe, I promised, this is it, it's you that I'm suppose to end up with. Babe remember?" he cried. "I know I know," she nodded her head slightly up and down, as her tears began to mix with the bright red blood upon her body. James held her tighter and closer to his body. "God please no, don't take her away from me" he whispered. Leana's hand began to slowly drift away from his cheek, as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "I love you so much James, and I wish I could've made everything all better. But babe... Everything I did, and every tear I cried I did it all for you everythingI love you babe." She said, "I don't wanna go, but I have to, and God knows I love you. We'll be together again babe.remember, because you said, we will always be together. We will" She said slowly as one lasttear rolled upon her cheek, and dropped slowly on James hand. Her eyes closed,"I love you," she whispered, and Leana had passed away. "Noooooooo!!!" James cried. "You cant go" he rocked her back and forth, and tried to wake her up. "Babe? Babe? Wake up c'mon Leana. Please pleasewe can work things out I promise," "c'mon babe, we're suppose to get married babe, wake up. Babe? Please" he begged. He closed his eyes and rested his head upon hers as endless tears continued to fall. "God Im so sorry I didn't take care of you babe, I'm so sorry," he cried as he kissed her forehead. All James could do was cry, and hold her until the ambulance came. As they put her on a stretch, and placed a white blanket over her head, it began to rain. James on his knees looked up into the sky and cried his heart our. "I love you Leanaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" he screamed. "I love you." He whispered one last time. From that day on, James knew there was nothing else he could fix. His life, his love, was no longer there. And all he could think about was her smile, and that one day she lay in his arms dying. He will always remember her, and will always love her. Because this is it, it was her, that he chose to love for life. You see, life is never forever, and things come only once. You don't know how long you'll get to keep things, and you'll never how long you'll get to live. But as long as you know you've got something in your life you love,and cherish so much.. make the best of it. Because one day, when you least expect it, you could lose the most important thing in your life you set your whole future for. Take care of things while their still small, and most of all take much care of the people you love. Because one day, it just mightbe too late to take care of anything, or even see them smile again. Trust me I know some day we will be.... because we promised we would.

mood: tinatamad
antidote: cheese pimiento
music: "Do I have to cry for you" - Nick Carter


Posted at 09:35 am by jens

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I don't know what it is that you've done to me
But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing
It's a feeling that I want to stay
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

I get so weak in the knees
I can hardly speak, I lose all control
Then somethin' takes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase
I want you to stay with me, by my side
I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak

Time after time after time I've tried to fight it
But your love is strong, it keeps on holdin' on
Resistance is down when you're around, pride's fading
In my condition I don't want to be alone
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

I've tried hard to fight it
No way can I deny it
Your love's so sweet
It knocks me off my feet

I get so weak
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak
Boy it's somethin' I can't explain
I get so weak
Somethin' 'bout the way you do the things you're do-oo-oo-in'
Knocks me right off of my feet (off my feet)
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak (I get so)

mood : light
antidote : maggi spaghetti =)


Posted at 10:05 am by jens

Monday, October 25, 2004

...and you think the song is so simple...

"I'm afraid to fly and I don't know why
Im jealous of the people who are not afraid to die"

Falling in love is the greatest and most wonderful
gift. The sky is bluer and it seems that flowers are
blooming everywhere. Indeed, what an exhilarating
feeling it is to love and be loved in return. Here's
the challenge though? when one loves, one dies. I
don't mean the physical death, but death to oneself.
You see, when you are in love, you place that
person's needs above your own. Loving entails a lot
of sacrifices. Personal preferences are thrown out
the window in place of something that was mutually
agreed on or sometimes one just chose to give up her
own preference because love dictates it. I admire
the brave ones who can do just that, make the decision to
love and allow themselves to be swept by the "magic"
and mystery of it all- To trust someone with their
life and accept the commitment to be there for each
other always, for better or for worse.

"It's just that I recall, back when I was small
someone promised that they'd catch me
but then they let me fall?.."

It's weird what one does all for the sake of love.
It's sad to admit that there are also those who just
love when it is convenient for them, when thing are
going smoothly, the way they wanted it, the way they
planned it. It's true colors are uncovered
when trials sets in. Will they hold on or will they give up?

"And now I'm falling, fallin fast again
Why do I always take a fall
When I fall in love?"

And then you begin to ask yourself, why did I allow
myself to fall in love? to be hurt? Why am I so
stupid and stubborn? I should never let it happen again!
Only to find yourself falling in love again? But
then, who can really resist the call to love?

"You think by now I've learned
Play with fire you get burned
But fire can be oh so warm,
That's why I return?"

Aha, the call to love is inherent and real. It is
part of our humanity, to respond to love that is
freely given. In the first place, it was God who
first loved us and called us to love in
return?.though it was not easy loving foolish and stubborn humans,
still, He loved us because it is His nature, because
God is love.

"Turn and walk away
That's what I should do
My head says go and find the door
My heart says I found you?"

We can never turn away from our nature-that is to
love. No matter what our head says, the decision to
love lies in the heart.

"It always turns out the same
Loving someone, losing myself
I only got me to blame?"

I'm one of the brave ones and I'm proud of it. I
loved. For all its magic and mystery, the joys and
the sorrows, yes, even the hurts and the pains. It
was all worth it. I may have lost a part of me in
the process, but I also gain a lot of lessons. I can
still laugh at life. I responded to God's call to
love. It was a decision patterned after
the love of God. I have no regrets! No one is to
blame. It is my nature to love.

"And maybe this time I'll have it all
Maybe I make it after all.
maybe this time i won't fall
when I fall in love..."

I will definitely love again. I will take the risk
and fall again, for what it's worth. Maybe this time
it will be forever, maybe this time "we" can make it.
..maybe this time there's no letting go.. How will I know if I
don't trust again? dream again and love again.

The song is more than a love song , it was a
song of hope. Of better things to come, of joy after
the tears and of rainbows after a storm.

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy...

Mood: confused

Posted at 12:00 pm by jens

Wednesday, October 20, 2004
buhay nga naman oo!

                         "someone emailed this to me and somehow may point sya
                                and it's really true that NO MUSIC, NO LIFE..." 

                 Tayong mga Pinoy, very sentimental. Mdali taung madala sa mga songs
                Plagi nting inirerelate ung buhay ntin on different music
                Umm...Well, this way, we can express how we feel
                We can smehow ease our grievances & miseries
                Or express the joy in our hearts...
                I know sme people who can't live without music
                When infuriated, heavy music lng kelngan nyan
                For her to scream, smehow lessens the anger
                Tpos ok na, ganon lng...
                Sabi nga nila "Life is a music"...
                Iba't ibang tunog pro kaya mo nmng sabayan
                Pag medyo out of tune ka na or d mo mkuha tmng steps, ok lng yan
                You can learn how to improve or sing or dance on your best nmn e.
                 At least u'v tried d ba!  
                Whatever people might say, just ignore them
                Parang ganito lng yan e, "Wala nmn snang nangengelam!"
                Knya-knyang diskarte lng tayo sa buhay mga peeps!
                When you'r weak talo ka! Dapat marunong taung lumaban...
                Being defeated is just a temporary condition
                Giving up makes it permanent.
                I don't knw kung effective sau pro try it
                Idaan mo lng sa kanta, or cry if necessary
                You can shout or just speak up!
                Yun nga lng u hav to be careful on choosing the person
                You can confide to, ung mpagka2tiwalaan
                And when the moment comes na u don't knw where to go
                Don't knw what to do, ooops teka nanjan lng si God!
                Madalas gnyan tayo e... We remember God lng whn we'r suffering
                Minsan nga, u'l blame Him pa sa mga nangya2ri sau
                Pero when you're blessed, d ka mn lng mg-"Thank You!" sa Kanya.
                We don't need to be vry pious nmn e.
                Live your life the way u want as long as la kang nasa2gasaan
                or nasa2ktang tao pra masaya d ba?
                 Marami nga jan, "Banal na Aso Santong Kabayo" nmn.
                 (Natatawa ako, hihihi!)
                 Pag sbrng in-luv ang guy, "Lakas Tama"
                 (Ako'y nawawala pg nki2ta ka!)
                 Pag d mo na tlga alm, "Come what may" na lng
                 When u'r broke, ita2nong mo mnsan
                 "How do you heal a broken heart?"
                  Eh kso pasaway ung kausap mo, ang sagot lng
                  "Please don't ask me" or "Shut up!"
                  Yung iba ngfo-fall pa sa iba khit taken na,
                   "Bakit ngyn ka lng" ang drama nyan!
                   Pg gs2 rin sha nung smeone na un, e d pwede
                    "I love you, goodbye" na lng.
                   Salary increase???...."Kailan kaya!", hehehe
                    ("Ako'y maghihintay lamang sau hanggang umabot sa takdang panahon!")
                    Oooops, hindi pwede itesh so just raise your "Hands to Heaven" & pray!
                    Sa dmi ng songs, mhirap mg-isip kng anong bagay sau
                    Pro once marnig mo na, mka2relate ka na
                    Iiyak ka or mata2wa kc maaala2 mo yung mga moments that made u cry
                    or ung tyms na feeling mo nsa heaven ka kc in-love ka.
                    Mnsan nka2inis kc maaala2 mo pa ung taong gs2 mo nang ibaon sa limot!
                    Whatever it can bring you, it's up to you kng make-carried away ka...
                    Take it from me kc ako, i can't live tlga without music!!!

Posted at 08:07 am by jens

Friday, October 15, 2004


"yeah it happened to me and it's hard,
i'm still struggling but i know it will

Moonpools & Caterpillars

o its said and done
o im not the only one
how was i to know
no one told me so
i just landed here and struggled to get by
nothing much to see
oh so naive
and then it hit me like it has 1,000 times

one day soon its going to happen to you
and when it does it wont be pretty
one day soon its going to happen to you
and when it does...i wont be there

o its said and done
o im not the only one
how was i to see
the only difference is me
to think that holding steady hands would do just fine
one day youll agree
that you are truer to yourself than
anyone of us will ever be

mood: sleepy
antidote: pansit ni fevz

Posted at 11:07 am by jens

Thursday, October 14, 2004
Finding Closure

How do you tell your heart that it's not supposed to feel for a certain someone anymore? How do you go about finding someone new, when your heart is calling you a traitor the second you think about it? Closure can be a difficult thing for many people to find. It's often as obscure as finding love itself. And, if you truly felt that the person who has departed was THE one, it can make your task of finding closure that more difficult. Like many things worth finding though, it may be difficult, but it's not impossible. When you feel like you'll never move on, or your heart will never love again, try the following ideas to help you find the closure you need and, quite frankly, deserve.

Ceremonial Goodbye
Often closure is difficult to find because a person wasn't given a proper chance to say goodbye or have a say in the ending of the relationship. It is usually much easier for the person breaking up to move on because they came to terms with the decision before even letting you know about it. To give yourself this same opportunity, collect everything that reminds you of your past love together. Put it in a box. At a time where you can have a few hours of privacy, light a candle and go through the items in the box. As you're lighting the candle, remind yourself that the flame in this relationship has gone out. Know that new flames may come and go, but at one point, a flame so large will come that it will extinguish all past flames. When you're going through the box of items, remember this is a time to acknowledge the past, but keep in mind that it is the past. When you are comfortable, put everything back in the box and blow out your candle. Say a goodbye to your past love and get rid of the box. Give it to a friend, if you want to keep certain mementos for later on. Or, bury it or throw it out somewhere outside of your home.

Tying Up Loose Ends
Was their something you wanted to tell your past love? Are there feelings or words trapped inside of you that you just need to get out? The best way to let these emotions free is by writing them down. Get out a pen and a paper and write a letter to your past love telling them everything you want them to know. Don't leave out anything. When you are done, fold it up and keep it in a special place. Do NOT give it to them. This is for your own personal, emotional release. You can also choose to burn the letter or rip it up as a ceremonial closure.

Looking Towards The Future
If your heart is stuck in the past, its future can't be looking too bright. Instead of focusing on what you've lost, try to change your mental attitude to what you can have. Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down a list of things you can have now that you are single. Then write a list of things you want a future partner to have that your previous partner didn't have. Whenever you're feeling a loss about your past love, look over this list again to help redirect your thoughts.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind
It is next to impossible to get over someone if you're constantly being reminded of them. If you have mementos of your relationship around your home, pack them up and get them out of sight. If you see your past love frequently at certain places, try to avoid them for a while. Similar to the above idea, steer your time and attention to things that help you create a happy life without your past love. Get involved in new groups or activities. Do things you have always wanted to that will keep your mind busy and away from what you're missing. Don't give in to the temptation to let the past be the center of your focus.

The biggest element to finding closure is finding your hope. Hope for the future. Hope for finding someone new who is an even better match than you could have dreamed for. Hope for your own happily, ever after. Once you've lost hope, you've given into the fact that destiny controls you, and not the other way around.

-jennifer good-

Posted at 05:07 pm by jens

Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The Notebook

"a very moving story that would really touched your very soul"

"Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic
and common sense. That's what it was like for me.I didn't plan on falling in love with you,
and i doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that
neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences,
and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has
happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my
memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it."  -Noah Calhoun-

Posted at 12:46 pm by jens

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